More Thoughts on Aviation by Ned Colburn

Ø No matter what else happens -- fly the airplane!

Ø Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity – its money that makes an airplane fly.

Ø If God meant man to fly, he would have given him more money.

Ø It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

Ø If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn' em back off.

Ø A check ride ought to be like a skirt -- short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.

Ø Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.

Ø No one has ever collided with the sky!

Ø Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands and feet.

Ø Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to 5 minutes earlier.

Ø Unskilled pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.

Ø If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller -- unless you keep pulling the stick back, then get bigger again!

Ø Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.

Ø The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Ø Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!

Ø Everyone knows the definition of a “Good Landing” is one you can walk away from, but very few know the definition of a “Great Landing”. It's one after which you can use the plane again.

Ø The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Ø IFR: I Follow Roads.

Ø Those who hoot with the owls by night should not fly with the eagles by day.

Ø A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down -- all of them trying to become individual and random in motion.

Ø Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.

Ø Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.

Ø Those most worthless things in aviation: The altitude above you. The runway behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don’t have.

Ø Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

Ø A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a corpse.

Ø Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a tree what it thinks about dogs.

Ø Always trust your Captain -- but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

Ø An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.

Ø Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.

Ø The friendliest flight attendants are those on the trip home.

Ø Good judgment comes from experience -- and experience comes from
bad judgment.

Ø Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips. Ø Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

Ø The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.

Ø There are 3 simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately,
no one knows what they are.

Ø It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.

Ø Passengers prefer Old Captains and Young Flight Attendants.

Ø The only thing worse than a Captain who never flew as Co-Pilot is a
Co-Pilot who once was a Captain.

Ø It's best to keep the pointed end of the airplane going forward as much as possible.

Ø If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the FAA would find a way to blame it on pilot error.

Ø Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

Ø A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.

Ø It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.

Ø A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying -- and about flying when he's with a woman.

Ø A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

Ø Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

Ø Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.

Ø You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

Ø What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a pig? A pig doesn't sit at a bar until 03:00 AM trying to pick up a fighter pilot.

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